Le Bombay Nasty

On a trip to Kashid Beach a few weeks ago, we were returning back to Bombay by ferry. Water kept splashing on us, which was no big deal, right? Because it's about 500 degrees here, so water is refreshing. But wait, we're getting closer and closer to Bombay. We don't want that murky stuff on us! Our skin will just singe off if it touches! That water is straight up Bombay Nasty! Which inspired what is now a cocktail available at a local bar in Bandra, where I live. The Daily, a new bar that opened up, invented the drink for me and my friends on my birthday as a little gift. And now patrons can enjoy the Bombay Nasty whenever they want! So, if you ever find yourself in the city of smog, make sure you swing by and try it!

Besides our new favorite cocktail, I finally made it to Goa, which was on my India bucket list! Nothing interesting to say there. Just your average, everyday beach trip. Where I had the most delicious dish I have ever eaten-- crab prawn makhani. Oh man, how I dream of being reunited with it one day again...

I also went to Delhi this past weekend for a big, fat, Punjabi wedding. Which basically translates to non-stop eating, drinking, and dancing. Which is what I did for 4 days. If you are what you eat, I am an Old Monk filled with chole. If you haven't been to an Indian wedding, you are missing out! And don't tell me to get married so that you can go to one... go make some more brown friends, ya racists!

Also, I recently discovered a lizard that's living in my kitchen. Which would explain the disappearance of cockroaches. I ain't mad about that! Doesn't my life sound so glamorous?

I'll have to cut this short, as my $3 Thai Green Curry delivery has just arrived. I love this city.

Monkey Trouble

I spent this past weekend at a hill station called Matheran, about 2 hours from Bombay. I stayed at a lovely little resort which was a nice escape from the city. As much as I love Bombay, it is absolutely necessary to leave every once in a while. As relaxing as Matheran is, there are monkeys everywhere, and let me tell you, I do not trust monkeys. They're little furry ass holes, and they are smarter than us. While I was just reading on the hammock, loads of monkeys went scurrying by me, coming way too close for comfort. It was 4 o' clock on the dot, and they were all going in the same direction. WHERE WERE THEY GOING?!!?! I don't know, but I can tell you one thing, they were up to no good.

 On Sunday, we decided to do some hiking. And by hiking, I mean leisurely strolling through the woods, to check out the beautiful viewpoints. On our way back to the hotel, a group of monkeys came running up to us, at first we thought, no big deal, they're everywhere. But no, these monkeys wanted something from us. They started hissing at us, monkey hissing. And opening their mouths wide like they were going to eat us. Out of fear, we threw our drinks at them and ran in the other direction. My life flashed before my very eyes. I know alllllll about the woman whose face was chewed off by her friend's monkey. I know what they are capable of. Luckily, they just wanted our Fanta and Limca.

 Like I said, they are little furry ass holes...

 


Quote of the day: "Feel free to feel me"- written on the T-shirt of an Auntie.

My life is in shambles

Two weeks ago a bird pooped on my head literally 2 minutes after I walked out of a salon to get my hair done for a wedding.

 I recently found out that breathing in the air of Bombay for one day is equivalent to smoking 100 cigarettes. Now I'm convinced I'm going to get lung cancer.

 Two people have told me that it looks like my hair is thinning. So now I'm also convinced that I'm going bald. Which I guess will come in handy when I have to go through chemo for my lung cancer. 

It's very hot in Bombay. Good day.

Kites Festivals and Bollywood

This last week was the most random, but most fun week I've had here so far. Over the weekend, I went to a city called Ahmedabad, in Gujurat, for an International Kite Festival. I went with a group of friends I had never met, but ya gotta be bold in a new place! We took an overnight bus from Mumbai and arrived on Sunday, where we got to enjoy the sights and sounds of a new city. And trust me, you HAVE to get out of Mumbai every now and then. The festival was on Monday, and oh my goodness, was it an experience. Everyone wakes up early and heads out to their rooftops to spend the day in the sunshine flying kites. It was such a mesmerizing sight, the sky covered in kites. I gave it a go, as well, but failed horribly. I don't know how this is possible, but I actually hit myself in the face with the kite I was attempting to fly. That was after 40 minutes of trying and the point at which I knew it was time to give up. So then I just sat back and enjoyed the view. In the evening, everyone lets out beautiful lanterns into the sky, and that was even more amazing than the kites. I felt like I was in a fairytale! It rivaled the feeling I had when I saw the Northern Lights. Beautiful!

I got back to Mumbai on Wednesday morning and started my new internship on Thursday. So far, so good! I got the chance to visit one of the slum areas they work in, which I will mostly be spending my time in, and interact with people who take part in the organization's programs.

...Now for the funny story... my brush with Bollywood! My cousin at home is friends with a lot of people in the film industry in India, most of whom are in Mumbai. So she put me in touch with a friend of hers who is a director. So I was invited to a movie on Thursday night with him and his friends. No big deal, just a night out at the movies, right? WRONG. I arrived at his house, and some of his other friends had arrived already, and they told me it was a movie premiere. Movie premiere, first day of release, no big deal, right? WRONG. We got to the theater and low and behold, paparazzi, the stars of the movie, crazy fans, the whole hurrah! I was extremely out of place. I slowly began to realize that I was pretty much out with a group of famous people. Wherever we went, fans were stopping them and asking to take pictures with. Whaaa? I had no idea what was going on. After an evening of awkwardly hovering around a group of famous people I had somehow ended up going out with, the brother of one of the most famous actors in India, Salman Khan, gave me a ride home. I had no idea who he was either until we started talking about what I was doing in India. After I told him I'm interning with a local NGO, he told me about his brother's NGO, Being Human. Say Whaaa? Being Human? That would make your brother Salman Khan... weird. All in all, it was an experience, and awkward one at that, but an experience nonetheless. I guess I should start reading Stardust and Filmfare and brush up on my Bollywood knowledge.

Quote of the Day: "Excuse me, but when you checked your astrological forecast this morning, did it tell you that you would be meeting a tall, dark, and handsome man today?"-Indian pick up lines.

Stuff your saris in a sack!

It's been forever, but I'm back! I have too compelling of a story not to share. And by compelling, I mean ridonk. I am in India now, been here for about a month. The Motherland! I came here for an internship with an organization called Women and Child Welfare Foundation. That's right. I flew 25 hours for that. Twenty. Five. Hours. To a land where people don't wear deodorant or care to use toilets to relieve themselves. And where people have never heard of a trashcan. I came all the way here for that internship. And guess what? That internship is over. When someone as unprofessional as I am, complains about how unprofessional someone else is, that's saying something! The woman who runs the organization has no office, no organizational skills, and probably no other skills in life. Ok, that's a little drastic, but probably true. But I've never experienced such unprofessionalism. She had me come to her "home office" where she would be lounging around in pajamas with her entire family, as they all watched Indian soap operas. Her dad sat in the room making old man noises. Like this:





I finally had enough and started meeting with other organizations, and will start a new internship with a wonderful one called "SNEHA" next week. They had an actual office! And actual employees! And actual projects to work on! Yay! Besides that, India is India. Hot and stinky. Just the way I like it. Until next time, fools! Happy new year!