J'adore Paris.

Ahh Paris. So chic. So French. I am almost done with my second period of grad school, and decided to spend the first half of our exam study week in Paris! No worries though, because if I didn't go to Paris, I would've just been sitting on my ass in Wageningen doing anything BUT studying anyway. I stayed on a street in Montmartre where much of Amelie was filmed with two friends, one of whom had her wallet stolen on the metro by a troll. No really, a troll! The girl who stole it was about 6 inches shorter than I was and had big bushy hair, A TROLL!!!! We tried to find her bridge to get it back but there are too many in Paris so we gave up after a while. Maybe she had a little troll family that she desperately had to feed. Let's pretend.

On Tuesday we went to Versailles, and decided to have a spot of tea in the tea room after we walked around the palace, just like the chic Parisian aristocracy that frequent the place (Can you believe I probably sat in Coco Chanel's farts? Magnifique!) Unfortunately, we were too swept away by the idea of being chic Parisians that we forgot that we are trashy, poor grad students. And upon being seated, we immediately regretted our decision to go to a place that sold 7 euro cups of tea. I can literally buy 8 BOXES of tea with 7 euros. So we did what any rational person would do, we split one cup amongst the three of us. It wasn't embarrassing at all when the waitress repeatedly asked "Just 1 tea... for the 3 of you???" OUI! Now go on and git! We laughed uncontrollably out of embarrassment the entire time. Luckily, the waiter who actually brought it over felt bad for us and brought us an extra pot of hot water to make some more tea out of the one that we ordered. Those French, such kind souls...

And now all that stands in the way of me and home are 2 exams and 1 paper! And an ocean. LIKE A BOSS!!!

Happy Sinterklaas!

I guess I've been good this year because silly ol' Sinter left me a present and a lovely poem on my shoes this morning!

Ik Neem Je Mee

Oh hey! I'm alive! And I miraculously passed all my exams from last period! Heyooo! As per Leah's request (hey girl!), I am blessing you all with another blog post. Since my last post, I have been to the States and back. I surprised my cousin for her birthday and ate a lot of jimmy johns. Then I skipped class for 3 days (whoops) and introduced all my foreign friends to a good ol' American Thanksgiving! And yes, we had stuffing, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, candied yams, green beans... ok, but no turkey, because turkey is crazy expensive here and we are poor students. Then I headed to Ireland for the weekend to visit some friends and get my jig on. But besides that, I feel compelled to tell you all about one of my professors because she is SO dumb. No really, so dumb. Not only does she NEVER know what people are asking in class, after a while she started stealing people's good questions. So it went from "I'm not sure what you are asking me..." to "Oh, that's a really good question, I was actually asking myself the same exact thing!" No you weren't, you dumb bitty, you've already proven you don't have the brain capacity to come up with such things. During a powerpoint presentation SHE made, a word was missing at the end of a sentence and she had NO idea what it was. I mean, come on! Needless to say, she was extremely entertaining. But it also makes me really worry about the exam, because she was so clueless, I have no idea what kinds of questions she will pull out of her ass. This week is our last week of classes, then I'll be heading to Paris for a few days before exams. And then I AM HOME for 2 whole weeks! If anyone would like to accompany me to any of the following, please holler:

1. Taco Bell
2. Jimmy Johns
3. Cava
4. Rock and Roll Hotel
5. Target
6. Urban Outfitters
7. My Basement
8. Sugarloaf Mountain (I don't care if it's cold, suck it up)
9. Any concerts
10. Yoyogi Sushi

I like to eat.

I leave you with my new favorite Dutch song:



Quote of the Day: "And then I had a douche."- Caro, using a hilarious American term in a European context.

Jong Belegen

I hope to God that my professors don't know who exactly in the class Kanika is, because I turned in an absurd exam yesterday. I literally made things up and had to keep going because each question had different parts. So I would make up something for part A, then I would have to make up things about the made up thing for part B. And then make up things about the made up things about the made up thing for part C. And... you get the picture. I'm ashamed.

On a more positive note... AQUA is on tour in Denmark right now. If any one of you purchases a plane ticket and meets me there, I will cover the cost of your ticket to the show. No really, I want to see them. Seriously. Cause I'm a barbie girl.

Quote of the Day: "At 14: 45 I will be under your house!"-Elena
"Under my house? Am I going to have to dig you out?"-Me
"jajajajjajajaj... it was not funny, don't joke with my english!"-Elena

...I'm tellin ya, these here foreigners keep me endlessly entertained.

McNuggetSkip 6 Stuks!

I have an exam tomorrow. And the day after. So I'm updating my blog. Because I can't read anymore. Especially when these chumps who write these papers feel the need to talk like this:

Notwithstanding the palpable tensions in this neoconservative ideology of benevolent global hegemony and universal values implemented by unilateral military power...

Wtf are you talking about, Thomas McCarthy? I'ma come find youuuu!

Anyway, I'm going to Amsterdam this weekend to celebrate the end of exams and (hopefully) passing them. I was already so excited to go. But I just became infinitely more excited because I stumbled upon this place (can you tell how hard I'm studying?):

http://www.dedriegraefjes.nl/

AN AMERICAN BAKERY. I've had some delicious pastries in cafes here. But God help me, I love a good ol' American cupcake. And they are hard to find! I don't know why, and I know you all agree, but a cupcake is so much better than a slice of cake. Nevermind that you can buy a whole cake for 10 bucks yet you pay 4 bucks for a cupcake. It's worth it. So just shut up. Is "nevermind" not a word? It's getting autocorrected into two words. Does anybody in the world besides Steve Jobs (RIP) know that it's two separate words? He just blew my mind from beyond the grave!

And back to studying I go...

Quote of the Day: "I dont know why people like True Blood and Twilight but whenever I say that I like Buffy people think I'm crazy."- Ilan Gutin

Cause I'ma Floss!

If there's one thing Americans do better than Europeans, it's floss. And start wars. Kidding! The other night my friends were over for dinner and the topic of oral hygiene came up (I pride myself on my teeth). They told me that they barely ever floss because it takes so long (10+ minutes???). I gave them the ol' Dr. Liu line- "only floss the teeth you want to keep!" and I assured them it takes but a mere 30 seconds, but they refused to believe me. So I had to show them. And teach them my wise, American, dental caring ways. I gave them all a string of my fancy Crest floss (floss in the US is actually better than the floss you find here) and we were off. They were astonished at how fast I went, and how, remarkably, I didn't slice my gums open. Needless to say, they all floss every night now. That'll teach em to ever talk trash about good ol 'Merica again!

It's study week right now. So, naturally, my room is spotless and I am none the wiser. Tonight I decided that catching a beautiful sunset on the Rhine was much more interesting and important in my life than teaching myself about what a book is. No really, this: 'Books cover virtually any topic, fact or fiction. For research purposes, you will probably be looking for books that synthesize all the information on one topic to support a particular argument or thesis. Libraries organize and store their book collections on shelves called "stacks". More and more books are also published in electronic format.' is part of what we learned in the course I am taking an exam for tomorrow. Wtf!? Anyway, you can't blame me for wanting to spend my time here instead:

Alright, I think I've wasted a sufficient amount of time now. I guess I'll study. I have always wondered what a newspaper was... Womp womp...

Quote of the Day: "TILBURG IS THE BOMB!"-Happy Dutch Boy!!!! :)
"Wow, someone watches a lot of early 90s American TV."-Me
"Oh, no one says that anymore?"-Sad Dutch boy :(

I'm So Loved...

Quote of the Day: "Haha! That sounded like a fert! I FERTED!!!"- Caro
"You mean fart???"- Me

I love non-native english speakers...

Where Was I?

Tonight I was riding my bike through puddles from the rain, and it reminded me of this:



...and I chuckled to myself in delight.

Well Hello, Ladies...

I'm Geert Wilders, the most ridiculous looking politician that ever did live. Can I buy you a drink?

Get A Load O' This Guy...

His name is Sinterklaas. Not to be confused with Santa Claus. They are two separate people in the Netherlands, but Sinterklaas plays a much more prevalent role around the holidays here. He spends the off-season lounging on the beaches of Spain. As you can see, his figure is much more pleasing to the eye than Santa Claus’s, so that would explain his frolicking around in a Euro-speedo in Spain, rather than bundled up in the North Pole. He comes to the Netherlands every year on his birthday, December 5th, on a boat with his dear horse that takes him around the country. He brings presents for all children, but beware! If you are bad, he will stuff you in his bag and take you back to Spain to teach you a lesson (First off, I don’t see how being whisked away to Spain is much of a punishment. Secondly, it’s a little inappropriate to stuff a child in a bag and take it home with you to “teach it a lesson,” don’t you think, Sinterklaas? I better not see you on “To Catch a Predator...") Oh, and don’t forget to leave a carrot out for his horse before you go to bed, poor thing needs energy to stay up all night! Also, he has a bunch of black guys that help him out. A full blown posse, if you will. Ya can’t make this stuff up. Well actually, I guess you can, since it all actually IS made up. But you can’t make up the fact that it’s made up!

So, let us review. Sinterklaas is a skinny lil’ guy. Santa is morbidly obese. Dutch children leave a carrot out for the lonesome horse that gives Sinterklaas a ride throughout the night. We leave cookies for Santa Claus, the glutton, to gorge on while his eight (or nine?), poor reindeer lug around his fat ass. Sinterklaas holidays in Spain, relaxing and enjoying life. Santa goes to the North Pole and works all year.

The differences between Europe and the US even exist in the make-believe world! I can’t wait for Christmas time in Holland… totes gonna get a picture with Sinter and his peeps.

Quote of the Day: "People are getting weird. I don't know if it's the economy crisis or climate change, but everyone is a weirdo."-Chin

Cat in a Bag... NBD.

How is it that hippies always find a way to start their little hippie communities? They are so crafty, those hippies! On Saturday night, we went to “Droeffest.” Droeffest is a festival put on by students every year in a housing area called Droevendaal. The entire complex is occupied by students who think it’s 1974. Or that they are Jamaican. There was a main area with a stage for live music, and then each house in the complex hosted a different type of party. Drum n’ bass, trance, relaxing, you name it! One house… well I guess it wasn’t much of a house, more like a horse trailer-turned-student house… put up a screen and played movies. Yay, I love movies! Oh wait, these aren’t movies. These are creepy short stories with no words and eerie music that make me think I’m in a nightmare. Don’t get me wrong, the festival was fun, but I realized that I am so glad to live in a normal house, with a normal housemate, with running water, and a toilet, and a shower, and a real bed, and internet, and… everything else that normal human beings use on a daily basis. Hippie culture is so interesting.

The other day I was out for a run. As I was going through my neighborhood, I came across two kids trying to stuff a cat in a bag. Yes, literally just trying to stuff a cat in a plastic bag. Not in a “Ooh I’ma take you home and throw you in a pot and eatchu!” kind of way, but in a “Weee a kitty! I’m going to take you home and feed you and cuddle with you and love you forever!” kind of way. Except it’s probably not very good to stuff a cat in a bag. Am I right, or am I right??? I didn’t know what to do though, because I can’t speak Dutch. And I’m terrifying looking when I exercise. And I didn’t want to scare the children with my American accent, much like they must’ve been scaring that cat with their whole stuffing it in a bag and whatnot. So I just kept on running. But I hope the cat is okay. I figured if it came down to it, it’ll claw it’s way out and probably attack the children. Cats… what a riot.

Quote of the Day: “Michael Jackson quits baseball!”-My humanitarian aid professor, misreading a headline from an old Time magazine.

My Shadow is Dutch.

And my lip gloss is cool.

Watskeburt?!

Hoi hoi everybody! Welcome to my new blog. I am officially a tech geek. And a Lakeforest mall hoodlum, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. I will try to keep this blog as interesting as the Australia one, but I can’t make any promises seeing as though I am now studying, and no longer being exploited as a gelato scooper, serving illiterate Australians who didn’t know what a cone was. But I’m bound to have some good stories here, as well. This is Europe, after all.

I’ve been in the Netherlands for one month now, and it’s been great. My first week here, we had orientation for school. My orientation at UMD consisted of an extremely boring, one day tour of the campus. My orientation here consisted of 6 days of activities, food, and parties. Our first day, there were different types of games set up around the campus and an opening night party, which was pretty much a big rave tent set up in the middle of the city (God help me, I love Eurotrash). The second day was a scavenger hunt type thing around the city, and the third day was sports day! Sports day was so fun, it was a way to be introduced to all the different sporting associations on campus, and I discovered my new favorite sport, Korfball. Unfortunately I jammed my finger while playing and it ended up looking like a kielbasa sausage for days. My group made me go to the first aid tent and I felt like a complete drama queen when all I got was a pack of ice, but I still had to register with them, and the guy helping me told me that as the day went on, more people came in with miniscule injuries. I assured him I did not want to go and was forced to, but I don’t think he believed me. I AM AMERICAN, GOD DAMMIT! I can handle pain. In fact, I live for it. Just kidding, not sure what either has to do with the other but it sounded good. And I hate pain. Also, they had a giant slip and slide set up, and seriously, WHAT is better than that? Oh yeah, and there were streakers from the rugby team. The next few days were just random activities around the city, like music in the botanic gardens, a global food day, etc. The last day, there was a closing party, where the rave tent continued and a popular band from the Netherlands came to play. They were so much fun! Here is one of their songs:



So everyone knows about the whole bungalow situation. But you know what… it wasn’t so bad. Well, despite the fact that I came up with 4 potential escape plans if and when a crazed murderer broke in. Having no bungmate really freaked me out. But really, the bungalows were nice, and contrary to what they said on their website, you indeed, made contact with humans many times throughout the day. Although we DID see a wild boar on our way home one night, and I was convinced he would be waiting for me outside my bungalow. And I’ve seen LOST, ‘nuff said… But I was only in the bungalows for about a week and a half. I have since moved into an adorable little house close to the city center and my school. I have green carpet in my room and the window looks out into the garden, so it’s like I’m outside all the time! It’s very cozy and there’s plenty of space for visitors (wink wink, nudge nudge).

The town I am in is called Wageningen; it’s really small but also very charming. It’s pretty much a Dutch Star's Hollow. There’s not a WHOLE lot to do here, but everything you need is within biking distance. We are also really close to all the other cities in the Netherlands, but the country is also crazy small so really, everyone in every city is close to every other city. Last week we took a day trip to Arnhem and it was adorable. Cafes everywhere! We also went out here for the first time since arriving, where we got to party with the adolescence of Wageningen. Sike, but apparently the drinking age here is 16, so we were at a bar and there were children all around us. I was all… WHAT the hell are you doing here?? And then I realized that when I dance, I usually do some variation of the running man, and then I was all…WHAT the hell am I doing here??

I have made a few really good friends from all over, and whenever we hang out, it’s like a real life version of Taboo. They describe words that they don’t know in English, and I have to guess what they are talking about. It’s really fun, but also embarrassing when it goes the other way around and I forget a word and they help me. Now that ain’t right.

Also, Dutch people are GIANTS. Seriously, the average height here is 7’3”. Okay, maybe I exaggerated there but I swear, they are not normal. Even the mirrors in all the bathrooms are placed higher than normal, so I can’t even see myself when I go in. If I stand on my tippy toes I can see my eyes. But they always glare back at me angrily like, “Why are you so damn short?” So I’ve just avoided mirrors all together now. I think it’s all the bread and cheese they eat. They’re all tall and skinny. So now I’m eating a lot of bread and cheese, not because I think it’s going to make me tall and skinny, but because it’s delicious. And I leave you with that thought to ponder. Tot ziens! (That’s ‘see you later’ for all you dummies that can’t speak Dutch).

Oh yeah, I guess I should mention school, considering that's the whole reason I'm here… eh, it’s school. Oh, well one thing worth mentioning is the fact that they have re-exams here. You can take an exam over and over again until you pass. Which is great. Because I don't remember how to learn. When I tell people here that in the US, if you fail an exam you take the whole class over, they are appalled. And I am too. Because I’m European now. Oh, I have one professor from the US (Boston), it's for a completely absurd and needless class, but I made it a point to talk to him so that he could hear my American accent and feel a bond with me and favor me over the other students, but he was less than impressed... my plan failed, womp womp.

Quote of the Day: “You know, the things that walk very slowly, and leave the juice behind them, and they have a home on their back?” “Uh… a snail?” “YES!!!!!!”-Elena, my Italian friend, engaging me in a real life game of Taboo.

PS- I’m keeping my eyes peeled for the Dutch Scissor Sisters…